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-Strange Words of Wisdom....
'Strange' WORDS of WISDOM...
Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants.
Marriage changes passion...suddenly you're in bed with a relative.
I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it...so I said "Implants?"
I don't do drugs anymore...I get the same effect just standing up fast.
Sign in a Chinese Pet Store: "Buy one dog, get one flea..."
I have my own little world. But it's OK...they know men here.
I got a sweater for Christmas...I really wanted a screamer or a moaner.
There are two sides to every divorce: Yours and shithead's.
I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
I am a nobody, and nobody is perfect; therefore I am perfect.
Everyday I beat my own previous record for number of consecutive days I've stayed alive.
How come we choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?
Snowmen fall from Heaven unassembled.
(and my favorite one here is.....)
Every time I walk into a singles bar I can hear Mom's wise words: "Don't pick that up, you don't know where it's been!"
Submitted by our Aussie Pal John S.
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